motherhood is a lonely business

i know it sounds weird right?
how could you be lonely when you have at least one tiny person clinging to you 24/7?
but it does.. and this post kinda said what I have in my head. i guess it's the way that motherhood is a selfless job. you are "sucked out" of your own ego, accomplishments, pride, whoever you were, whatever you had, before being a mother. Then there's the issue of "each and every mother and child relationship is unique". it just adds to the loneliness -_-" Like the +AngryGoT Fan puts it #NOONEUNDERSTAAANDSS

it was also why scrolling down through facebook/instagram/path can be a difficult business. you're lonely so you check them out but then seeing pictures of people having FUN made you feel sorry for yourself.

Last night, I was in bed, ready for sleep, doing my nightly terrible habit of scrolling through my facebook feed, when it hit me. It grasped my heart and stole my peace. It was just something as simple as a photo of a few moms hanging out and their playful comment banter under the photo. But it hit me hard. Jealousy. Bitterness. ANGER. And then when those feelings had faded away, all that was left was loneliness.

ditto. in my case i once decided to uninstall everything so i wouldn't get distracted. but it didn't really work. well now I limit my social media trolling to a few hours a day. i'd rather check out parenting/montessori homeschooling blogs and think out new ideas/projects that I can play with Navis. that and arrange as many playdates as possible, lol.